So I stumble back to my bed and lay there, waiting for sleep to overtakeand heal me. But the one time I crave it, need it desperately, sleepfails to come for me. I lay there, exhausted, too tenseto sleep. Relax, I try to tell myself, just relax and sleep willfollow. Twenty minutes later and not only am I drained, I'mfrustrated as well. My mind is racing and it won't let go of the thoughtsenough to let me sleep. It doesn't help that those thoughts center aroundhim and the complexities of our relationship, the bad as well as the good. Every little thing I've ever done "wrong" (at least in mymind); every little word of praise and affection and yes, love, from him. I sit up, dangling my legs over the side of the bed, andrealise I'm still playing with the damned belt. Still turning it aroundand around, doubling it this way then that, listening to a voice - hisvoice - remind me with a smile to not use the buckle end. I smile tomyself, still feeling a bit silly about that after all. "It's hard to describe how I felt at that moment. Unless I was misunderstanding Kevin and mom were talking about her letting me fuck her...and she said that she wanted to! Talk about winning the lottery...I was light headed, almost giddy with excitement, it was all I could think about for hours and hours. However, I was also a bit annoyed. I mean, I have been trying to do something like that for years and finally, after all this time she decided to give in. So I thought I'd make her wait until it suited me...and I wanted to be sure that Kev knew when we did it too, it just seemed wrong to have secrets like that.So when I came home late one night and found her obviously braless in the kitchen talking to Kev on messenger (or so she said. I'm not sure that there wasn't someone else she was talking to around that time, she certainly seemed to be on her phone a lot and her and Kev usually called each other) I had a good look at her tits, watching her nipples growing under my gaze before I.
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